TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of Self Harm
DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a mental health professional, this piece is based on my own experiences and what I have learned in therapy
On one late-night car ride to nowhere, my cousin asked a question that many are afraid to ask. Why do people self-harm? For someone who has never felt this urge, it can be hard to even fathom what goes on inside someone’s mind before they harm themselves. Some of the reasons for this include:
Wanting to feel physical pain to distract from emotional pain
Wanting to just FEEL something besides crippling numbness
Punishing oneself and feelings of overwhelming guilt
Control of their pain
In addition, hurting oneself expands far past the image that we typically conjure up when we think of the word self-harm. Besides cutting, self-harm can also include hitting oneself, burning, excessive scratching, punching oneself, headbanging, and more. Recognizing the multifaceted nature of this activity can help us look for warning signs in our family and friends.
If you are someone struggling with self-harm, it can be addictive, and near impossible to stop. The guilt one often feels afterward can also take an immense toll on your emotions. Regulating emotions is hard, and when it feels like there is no hope, it can be hard to ground yourself. However, there are several alternatives to self-harm that you can attempt to put into place whenever the urge strikes.
1. Ice Dunk
Take a bowl of water and add ice. Then dunk either your hands, feet, or face into the bowl. The temperature shock will hopefully help create a physical sensation that should help self-harm urges subside.
2. The Butterfly Project
Get a sharpie or pen and draw a butterfly on the place where you would typically self-harm. If the butterfly fades away by itself, it has lived and flown away. However, if you self-harm while the butterfly is still there, you have killed the butterfly and must start over. Doing this helps create a sense of accomplishment for not harming.
3. Draw on Yourself: This is similar to the method mentioned above. Use a pen or marker to doodle over the places you would self-harm. If seeing blood is a reason you harm, use a red marker to create fake wounds to satisfy that feeling and urge.
4. Distract yourself: Go take a walk, read a book, go watch TV, write in a journal or do any other activity that may help express the emotions that you are feeling, along with distracting yourself.
5. Physically getting out anger: If you are feeling anger, throw socks against the wall, scream into a pillow, scribble onto a piece of paper, write onto a paper and then tear it up.
Follow this link for many more alternatives!